DIY Emergency Cricothyrotomy Keychain

For all of those times when you find yourself having to save someone’s life because they can’t breath through their mouth, you can buy LifeStat, The Emergency Pocket Airway Tool. Yours in brass/aluminium for only $125, or as a gift for that special someone, 24k gold plate for $250.

Don’t know how to perform an emergency cricothyrotomy? It’s just 7 easy steps:

Dr. French, inventor of the Emergency Pocket Airway and an Ear, Nose, and Throat Physician, states the following:

1. In an emergency, unscrew the device from the end threaded onto the key ring.
2. Unscrew the other end. A trochar and cannula will slide out.
3. Perforate cricothyroid membrane or other accessible area of airway with trochar threaded within cannula.
4. Withdraw trochar after it and cannula are within lumen of trachea.
5. Thread small end of outer casing into hub of the cannula, thereby extending the length of what has become a breathing tube.
6. Spontaneous or assisted breathing now possible. Ambu or respirator adaptable.
7. Apparatus may remain in position during subsequent attempt at oral intubation.